What was I saying?

In my first post I mentioned that I was hesitant about blogging. One of the reasons that I forgot to mention in that post was, that while I actually enjoy writing, it can be a difficult process for me. Sometimes writing becomes more like homework and less about expressing a thought. You see, I get very particular about how I word things and I tend to rewrite things over and over in an attempt to get the correct phrasing. So while I start off with an idea in my head about what to write, I tend to over-think the wording while trying to get the idea onto paper, and in that process, I forget some of the original thoughts that I was trying to express. So sitting down to write the blog reminded me about those times in school where I would spend hours trying to get the perfect wording for a writing assignment, while trying NOT to forget to actually focus on the subject of the assignment. As an example, what I intended to write about in today's post was how I had a lot of anxiety about going to school and how I see some of the same worries and stress from Michael. I was also going to talk about our current school district and how it compared with the one I grew up in (which caused my parents to send me to Catholic school and I'd really like to avoid doing the same to Michael). But I devoted so much of the post to my scatter brained writing style that it wouldn't seem coherent to start in on the schooling discussion. Oh well, I guess I'll work on an outline and have those thoughts ready for next time! (Damn this feels like homework) :p

Getting to know me

Well here's something I never thought would happen. I'm actually trying out blogging. You see, I'm kind of old school, and the idea of sitting down and writing out my thoughts for the entire world to see is a bit daunting. My attitude towards blogging had mostly been negative because, well come on, it seems a bit narcissistic to think that people would care to see my random thoughts and musings. I've seen too many blogs where it seems like the people who write them are CRAVING attention. There’s a lot of "Look at me world, look at my wonderful house, my expensive car, my expensive clothes. Read about my awesome life and post comments telling me how wonderful you think I am." Ok so you’re thinking, why would a guy who has such a negative attitude about blogging suddenly start up a blog to talk about himself? Well recently I've been thinking a lot about my life and I realized that I’m starting to lose my connection to the person I used to be.  I’ve never kept a journal or a diary and I realized that as I’m getting older, some of my great memories and experiences are starting to fade, so I figured that I could use this blog to try and document those memories that are important and reconnect with my past. So even if no one else ever reads or sees this blog, at least I will have something to go back to in order to get to know me again. But hopefully I can write some entertaining posts and people will enjoy joining me at getting a peek at Zeke.

I figured since this is my first post I’d give a just a quick peek at my history.  I was a child of the 70’s, a teenager of the 80’s, a disillusioned grunge loving  20 something of the 90’s, who managed to survive all that to become a husband and father in the last decade.  I have an incredible wife, Joanna, who makes everyday worthwhile and a four year old named Michael who amazes me with his energy and his thirst for knowledge. If I were half as driven as him, I’d be dangerous.

And one last item for this post. My name is Andy and most people know me as Andy, so it maybe confusing that I call the blog a peek at Zeke. For the most part, I’m a very shy person who doesn’t like to draw attention to myself. I usually try to avoid conflict and I’ll work hard to stay out of trouble. But the name Zeke comes from an incident from when I was 12 or 13 years old. A group of friends and l were out getting something to eat . There was a large group of older kids hanging out at the place when we showed up. As my friends and I were in line, one of the older guys started yelling “Hey Zeke, long time, no see. How’s your brother doing?” I had no idea who this guy was and I didn’t even realize he was talking to me. So after a few more times of him yelling and me ignoring, the guy comes over and gives me a shove in the back. I told him he was mistaken, that I wasn’t Zeke. For some reason he thought that I was showing him up or something and he decided to try and push me around and put me back in my place. I don’t know what it was about this situation that hit me the wrong way, but I lost it on this guy. I ended up pulling a Ralphie from a Christmas Story. I jumped him and started cursing up a storm while I was pounding on him. The manger of the place came out and broke us up. He kicked the older kids out and called one of my friend’s parents to come and take my group home. While we were waiting to get picked up, my one friend asked me what got into me. He’d never seen me stick up for myself and that he didn’t know who Zeke was, but he must have been one big badass that I somehow channeled. So after that incident, it kind of became a running joke with my friend that anytime I acted outside the ordinary that I was letting the Zeke out.  So I figured that if Andy gets too shy to write a blog, then Zeke can definitely step up and take care of business.